Alcohol has been used in civilization for thousands of years, but it turns out we may have been using it wrong this whole time. Forget everything you know about alcohol. Here are 13 Ways alcohol can change your life — and no, we’re not talking about drinking it.
Sure, a glass of wine cures a lot of ailments (at least, that’s what we tell ourselves, right?), but you’d be shocked to find out how many ACTUAL uses exist for alcohol that doesn’t involve drinking!
Do you have an odor you can’t get rid of? Do you want healthy, shinier hair? Well, don’t fear, because there’s an alcoholic beverage for all your problems!
As Homer Simpson once so eloquently put it, “To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life’s problems.”
Alcohol to the Rescue: 13 Ways Alcohol Will Change Your Life
1. The Poison Ivy Killer
Poison Ivy is basically every backyard-owner’s worst nightmare. But live in fear no longer; kill the obnoxious weed with a mixture of 2 tablespoons vodka and 2 cups of water. Pour the solution into a spray bottle and spritz away. Vodka’s dehydrating action will kill poison ivy soon after the leaves are saturated.
2. The Stinky Feet Neutralizer
You know what pairs well with Kettle One vodka? A nice, stinky foot. Well, don’t drink the vodka after, but pouring some on your smelly feet will kill off the odor-causing bacteria!
3. The Meat Perfecter
Old red wine makes a miraculous meat tenderizer and marinade. Put the meat in a self-sealing bag and pour the leftover wine in with it. It’s just that easy! The cooked meat will have a juicy, tender texture. Bon appétit!
4. The Lawn Fertilizer
Add a beer to the reservoir of a 10- or 20-gallon hose end sprayer and water your lawn with the mixture every three weeks or so. The sugar in the beer stimulates microbes that help to break up the soil.
5. The Natural Clothing Deodorizer
Rid your closet and clothing of musty odors by spraying them with unflavored vodka. The alcohol will kill the odorous bacteria without imparting any unwanted smell of its own.
6. The Hair Transformer
To add body, shine, and volume to your mane, have a hops shampoo. In an enamel-lined saucepan set over medium heat, bring ¾ cups of beer to a boil, then simmer briskly until it reduces to ¼ cup. Cool, then mix with 1 cup of your regular shampoo. Transfer it to a jar with a lid and shake before using. Check out these other home remedies for healthy, shiny hair.
7. The Secret Ingredient
Did you accidentally run out of lemons? Here’s what to do: substitute lemon for that white wine you’re sipping, using the same amount called for in the recipe.
8. The Chicken & Turkey Beautifier
About 15 minutes before you’re ready to take it out of the oven, brush the skin of the chicken or turkey with white vermouth. The sugars in the fortified wine will give the dish a rich brown color.
9. The Perfume Neutralizer
Overdid it with perfume? No problem, just dab a little vodka on the places you applied the perfume or cologne. The nearly odorless spirit will knock out the scent.
10. The Alternative Windshield Wiper Fluid
Out of windshield wiper fluid? No problem, just replace it with the following alcohol mixture: In a screw-top gallon jug, mix 3 cups vodka with 4 cups water and 2 teaspoons liquid dishwashing detergent. Shake well. Then pour the mixture into the reservoir.
11. The Car Battery-Reviver
In the event your car battery dies, and you just so happen to have a bottle of red wine (because, who doesn’t, right?) you will have all the tools you need to get home. Simply take off the cell cover, pour a little wine in each of the cells, and reseal the cells. Start your car back up, and get it to a service station!
12. The Natural Egg-Dyer
Here’s how to get purple: Dip your white eggs into a glass of red wine. You can also make these other natural Easter egg dyes.
13. The Moss-Grower
Thanks to Reader’s Digest and a little alcohol, you can age your new patio with homemade moss:
1. Place 8-12 ounces of moss in a pail.
2. Add a 12-ounce bottle of beer as well as ½ teaspoon of sugar, then puree the mixture until smooth.
3. Using a paintbrush, spread the mixture on masonry planters. The moss should appear in four to seven days.
Who would’ve thought that alcohol could come in so handy! What’s your favorite way to use alcohol? Share if you learned something new about alcohol today.